Lose hard to win



Messenger Staff

This article is about being “close but no cigar”. Having the bottom fall out from underneath of you. Fighting a losing battle. That is the nicer way of putting it at least. The actual term uses the f-word that no one likes to hear ...failure.

The word itself makes me cringe. Failing can be painful and can cut deep on an emotional level. It can damage our confidence and make us question our own self-worth. No one likes to fail, but as disappointing as failure can be, it is vital to experience to become successful later in life.

While it is easy to fear failure, only the people who have bounced back from failure truly understand why failing is so important. They understand the value in failure. Through failure, a person can learn from their mistakes. Failures should make us reconsider a new way to achieve our goals and restructure our plans to succeed.

Learning from failure is something we have had to do since childhood. In the instance of learning to walk, we had to find the strength to stand up, take a few steps, only to fall and start over again. As frustrated as the tiny versions of ourselves were at the time, we picked ourselves up and tried as many times as it took until we could confidently walk across the room on our own two feet. When you think about it children are masters of overcoming failure.

Why then does it become so much harder to accept failure as adults? The problem may have to do with how we perceive the failure itself. In order to get past failing, we have to own it to face the truth about why we failed in the first place. Obsessing over how you failed can keep you in despair. Owning why you might have failed will allow you to learn from it, grow from it, and help prevent you from failing in the future.

I hate to admit it, but I am the queen of failure. I have failed more times in my life than I can count. Each time I failed though, I learned something new about myself. It is through failure that I learned how to practice being resilient, which is not a trait that I was born with. Resilience is a muscle that I have to practice exercising every day. In resilience, I have learned that I can achieve just about anything, even if there are a few bumps in the road ahead of me. As Maya Angelou once said, “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” There is only one way to fail, and that is giving up one yourself and your goals. You rarely ever learn anything from succeeding without failure anyway. So, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and lose hard so you might win someday.

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