They say that French is the “language of love”. I don’t speak French, so if this is true, it would explain a lot about my disastrous dating life in my 20s. Personally, I was more interested in Latin cultures in school. Just in case you are curious, taking a few Spanish classes didn’t help me in the love department either. In fact, it wasn’t until 10 years after high school that I would meet the love of my life. As luck would have it, I didn’t need “L’amour” to get his attention. I did just fine charming my husband with plain ole’ English.
No matter what language you speak, expressing your mind and emotions are a vital part of communication in any relationship. Long-term dating pairs, or married couples, know that being in a relationship has moments where it seems like you are speaking entirely different languages. Language is important because it is how we communicate ideas and thoughts to one another. The expression of love is a language in itself. We all have a sense of how we want to be loved, but are we loving our significant other in the way they need to be loved?
According to marriage counselor and author Gary Chapman, there are 5 love languages that can be expressed in a relationship. The first love language is Words of Affirmation, which are any spoken or written words that confirm, support, uplift, and empathize with another person in a positive manner. The second love language is Acts of Service, which is best described as doing something for your partner that you know they would like. Examples of Acts of Service can include filling up your partner’s gas tank, watering their plants, or cooking them a meal. The third love language is Receiving Gifts. In this love language, presents are physical symbols of love that materially express the affection for their significant other. The fourth love language is Quality Time, which refers to showing love and affection by spending dedicated time together. The final love language is Physical Touch, the expression and receiving of affection through touch, physical closeness, and other forms of physical connection.
If things are getting rocky in a relationship, it may be because a person isn’t speaking the love language of their partner. For example, let’s say your partner values quality time with you. You, on the other hand, have a tendency to show affection by buying gifts for your partner instead of setting aside time to spend with them. In this instance, you are not speaking your partner’s love language. We have to know what love language is most important to our partner in order to love them the way they need to be loved. In turn, our partner also needs to act in the language that speaks to us.
Are you curious to learn more about love languages? Visit www.5lovelanguages.com to take a quiz with your partner that will help you determine what your love languages are. Taking the quiz will help you determine your emotional needs and gives you the insight to figure out what’s important to your partner. What are your love languages?