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On the Lighter Side of Life


A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a nice luxurious hotel.

When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high. “I agree it’s a nice hotel, but the rooms aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay. I didn’t even have breakfast!”

The clerk told her that $250.00 was the ‘standard rate,’ and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.

Frustrated, she insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: “This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use.”

“But I didn’t use them!” the old woman argued.

Indifferent, the manager shrugged and replied, ‘’Well, they are here, and you could have.”

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous. “We have the best entertainers from all over the world performing here.”

“But I didn’t go to any of those shows.” she pleaded.

“Well, we have them, and you could have.” was the manager’s reply.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, “But I didn’t use it!”, and the Manager would counter with his standard response, “but you could have”.

After several minutes’ discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, the old woman decided to pay, wrote a check, and gave it to him.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. “Madam, this check is for only $50.00.”

“That’s correct,” the old woman replied. “I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me.”

“But I didn’t sleep with you madam!” exclaimed the manager.

Shrugging her shoulders, the old woman replied, “Well, too bad. I was here, and you could have.”