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What are we afraid of?


Submitted by Conrad Doyle


 Recognizing anger triggers can serve to help each of us understand the "why" of our angry outbursts and the need to "do" something to rid us of this often very uncomfortable emotion.

 It is human nature to react to anger by recognizing, then destroying, the cause or source of that anger. Often, the answer is as close as the reflection in the mirror, but that is not where we want to look.

 What then do we do when that trigger happens to be another person?

 A person that, if not discredited, can cause great shame to be leveled upon us and our reputation forever sullied.

 Contrary to what you may think, or even have heard, that is not the intended outcome of this column. Actually, it is as far as the east is from the west.

 In truth, it saddens me that we find ourselves in this cesspool of deceit, distrust and dishonesty in our county government offices. When we elect an individual to fill a position, that requires them to be honest in their role and above the fray when trouble and/or opportunity comes knocking at our front door. I once knew a good man that served many volunteer positions in his church on Sunday and ran a lucrative business the rest of the week. The opportunity to sell his business at a very handsome profit margin came his way, and he rightly sold it. For the next couple of months, he instructed his employees to contact their account holders and inform them of the sale and to offer them a discount if they left the new owners and brought their business to him when he opened an identical business that would be opening in another close by city. As the date of the transfer of ownership crept up, so did the pressure put on his account managers to secure signed contracts with each of their account holders.

 The day came when the new owners took the keys to the office and for his employees to commit to either stay with the new owner or follow him to his new business. I had stopped by his office to wish him well and to meet the new owners. I expected to see all smiles on the faces of owners and employees alike but, my Pollyanna expectation was not coming to fruition.

 One of the employees that I had known for many years and always enjoyed his visits to my office, was on this celebratory day, a very reserved and tormented young man. He felt ashamed at the deception that he participated in and was psychologically and spiritually confused by the actions of a man he had always considered a great role model. On this day, however, he was only able to leave without conversing with the new owners. He told me that he felt so betrayed by the man he thought was an honest. Christian man because when he last spoke to the man he considered his mentor, he gave an answer that devastated him. He was told "you cannot mix business with religion" and the sooner he understood the difference, the sooner he would become the best salesman the company had ever had.

 Why was this young man so spiritually wounded? Because he expected better from this man. He just assumed that this man he respected was the same man whether he saw him in church on Sunday or at the office on Monday. I guess honesty and politics are best described as an enigma wrapped in a conundrum. Maybe we expected too much in our elected officials. Maybe we/I should not have voted for someone that in part used the title "Christian" as a campaign positive, but to expect those insinuations to carry over into our day to day life/decisions/activities was unrealistic.

 So here we are now, trying in some way to transfer our anger onto an individual we have never known because we cannot bear to look into the mirror to identify the true source of our anger.

 Now as promised, let's take a look at the most confusing part of this whole "who is Conrad Doyle" line of questioning. If only those individuals that have tried to publicly shame the local n